A couple of weeks ago, the second season of 13 Reasons Why premiered on Netflix. As I was scrolling through Facebook this morning, I saw that it was going to be renewed for a third season.
There are many things in life that are quite upsetting to me, and one of them is the poor representation of mental health/suicide awareness in the series 13 Reasons Why.
If you are not familiar with the show, it is based on a book of the same name, written by Jay Asher. The book was not nearly as explicit as the series was, with the first season graphically depicting two rape scenes as well as the violent suicide of the main character, Hannah Baker. The story centers around her suicide and how she leaves behind 13 tapes explaining why she killed herself, which are listened to by her friend Clay Jensen.
I did watch the first season of 13RW and I thought it was really well done. The characters all had backstories that were important and that impacted Hannah Baker.
The thing that the show portrays, however, is a murder. Hannah Baker died by suicide.
The tapes were made as Hannah's "note", but it was mainly her of accusing the people that hurt her of "killing her", hence the title of the show. Although they did do what she accused them of, we only knew this because of the fact that it was portrayed in flashbacks (and I am not saying what happened to her and the other people were not valid issues that should be addressed a part from the show itself). If someone did something like that in real life, we would have absolutley NO WAY of knowing if what the person said was true because we don't have them to ask and the people that bullied/hurt this person can deny it or perhaps didn't even do what they person said they did. Hannah basically says at the beginning of the tapes that "if you are listening to these tapes, you are one of the reasons why I killed myself"
As horrible as the way Hannah was treated by her peers through bullying, gossip, sexual harassment (and eventually rape), suicide was the choice she ultimatley made and we as viewers knew that from the beginning of the first episode. No matter how you choose to justify it, suicide is suicide is suicide. It is final.
The show makes it seem that Hannah Baker is avenging her death somehow through Clay, but it wasn't the people that hurt her that killed her. Like I said, what they did was incredibly wrong, but there was a lot of things Hannah could have done to have gotten help, such as talked to her parents, called the suicide hotline, get counseling, etc. 13 Reasons Why portrayed every adult as clueless, especially the school's guidance counselor, Mr. Porter. This was incredibly dangerous to do because now the kids who are at home watching this show are going to get the idea that NO ONE will understand them and that suicide is the only answer.
Additionally, the tapes are evidence of multiple crimes. Two rapes (the other rape was against her friend and SHE witnessed it), manslaughter (was the passenger in the car that destroyed a stop sign, this led to someone being killed in a car accident because the sign was no longer there), sexual harassment, stalking, and even more misdemeanors and crimes. It is sickening because Hannah "told" the people she specfically wanted to listen to the tapes that they COULD NOT share them with anyone else and had to pass them on secretley in order of who is being talked about on each tape (ex: if Justin was on the first tape, then after he listens to all 13 tapes, he passes them on to the person on tape #2, Jessica, so on and so forth). The crimes were against other people, and she said that what was on those tapes COULD NOT be talked about, even between the people who had gotten the tapes.
This show portrays everything NOT to do when feeling suicidal/depressed. Hannah goes to her guidance counselor ONCE and expects him to help her without even telling him what was going on. Although she was trying to explain to him about being raped and he was giving the typical, "well, what were you wearing"-type crap, he had no way of knowing that she was going to go home that day and kill herself! She should have gone to him first thing, not as a last resort. Who knows, maybe he would have been somewhat helpful had she gone when she originally noticed that she was hurting.
There are people who really like the show that maybe haven't experienced mental health issues or know someone first-hand. It's understandable, but if this is the message that is being shown to those people, then we are basically showing them that suicide is an exceptable answer and adults are stupid. Suicide is completley unexceptable. You may be taking away your pain, but all of that pain explodes upon everyone else who knows and loves you. You may not feel loved, you may feel alone, you may be told every day of your life that you are the scum of the earth and you should kill yourself, but YOU. ABSOLUTELY. SHOULD. NOT.
Please note, I am not condemning those who have died by suicide. My heart breaks for their souls and their families, as they will no longer get to live and have a chance to experience the amazing hope that comes after a long period of darkness.
No matter how dark it may feel, there is always hope. I could give you a million quotes, but at the end of the day, we create our own happiness. We cannot, no matter how justified it may seem, blame others for our misery. This is something that I struggle with immensley and am working on. It is not easy one bit. It takes a lot of help from supportive outside sources, challenging distortive thinking, and truly taking care of yourself.
I know that my one blog post is small and that the third season of 13 Reasons Why will most likely happen. All I can do is continue to voice my opinion, pray, and direct people to better resources. If you are someone who struggles with mental illness and have watched 13 Reasons Why and need help, here are some sources that have helped me or that I know have helped others:
1. Mental Health on The Mighty
This FB page/blog follows real human beings struggling with mental illness who chronicle their experiences. There are even blog posts that have chronicled each episode of 13RW for those people who were severely triggered by season 1 that summarize season 2 for those who want to know what happens but doesn't want to watch the show. Because of this, I have a generic idea of what happens throughout season 2 because of this. The Mighty doesn't just write about mental health, it writes about chronic illness, cancer, autism, diabetes, etc. It is an incredibly insightful source and I have even written for the site.
2. Suicide Hotline
This one is an obvious one and has even been brought into the spotlight with rapper Logic and singers Alessia Cara and Khalid raising awarness for suicide prevention with the song that had the hotline number as the title:
1-800-273-8255
3. Text "START" or "#4HOPE" to 741-741
If you are not someone who likes to talk on the phone, this hotline allows you to text someone to talk through the pain. It really doesn't matter what you text, even if it's just one letter or "hi", someone will answer you.
4. Call or text a supportive person
If you are feeling alone, it's nice to reach out to someone in your circle who is kind and understanding. You don't even have to talk about your feelings at first, it's nice to get distracted and talk to someone. I know that having done that helped me on rough nights when some of my friends were feeling like telling a silly story and making me laugh.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE YOU ARE NOT ALONE YOU ARE NOT ALONE YOU ARE NOT ALONE YOU ARE NOT ALONE YOU ARE NOT ALONE YOU ARE NOT ALONE YOU ARE NOT ALONE YOU ARE NOT ALONE YOU ARE NOT ALONE YOUR ARE NOT ALONE YOU ARE NOT ALONE YOU ARE NOT ALONE YOU ARE NOT ALONE